This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/dinner_drama on 2023-08-04 10:14:42.
Hey everyone, I need some perspective on a recent family dinner situation that I’m feeling pretty shaken up about it.
My son, who I’ll call Sam, has always been incredibly passionate about history. He has been reading tons of books about history and asking us to visit museums since he was a kid. It was no surprise to us that he wanted to major in history in college. He got accepted into the history program at NYU and is attending this fall. My husband and I were all really excited and wishing him the best of luck.
So, last night, we gathered with my in-laws for dinner but things went off the rails quickly. As we were waiting for our meal, my mother-in-law said something along the lines of “Sam, you should really reconsider. History is nice as a hobby, but you need to focus on something more practical for your future.”
I tried to stay polite and composed, as we are used to my in-laws’ way of thinking, and simply told her that history is Sam’s passion and I believe that he will be able to make a successful career out of his degree.
They did not drop the topic and my father-in-law began talking about stable income and job security. My husband and I tried multiple times to end the conversation naturally and divert the topic, letting them know that Sam has always been een incredibly hardworking so we do not believe finding a job will be a problem for him, we do not want him to be stuck doing a degree/job he hates, etc.
My in-laws apparently did not want to have a nice dinner so they kept pushing the issue. I started to get fed up when they wouldn’t stop, and I ended up yelling at them in a angry tone that the decisions Sam makes were his and only his to make and that they could either support him or not. After that, they let it go but there was still tension among us for the rest of the dinner.
We made an excuse to leave the dinner early, thinking they would forget about it by the next day, but I’m starting to feel worried that I might have caused a rift in the family by standing up for my son. My in-laws are usually very kind and supportive but they have very strict views on college educations, so I suppose this was inevitable. I do not regret what I did, however, but I’m just wondering if maybe I could have handled it differently.
My son often browses this subreddit and shows us some of the more haywire stories that are posted, so I figured it might be a good idea to see what others think. Am I the asshole for defending my son’s decision and standing up to my in-laws at the family dinner?