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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Moreskaya on 2023-08-04 14:33:30.
My boyfriend has a teenage sister who is of the age where she’s started to become interested in dating. She’s the youngest girl in a large family, and I also think of her as my little sister, so needless to say we worry about her constantly. Yesterday, I gave my boyfriend a copy of Why Does He Do That? to give to his sister, so she can know the signs of abuse in a relationship (never too early to start teaching kids this!!). Today, he texted me that he had started reading it himself and that he was impressed with how dense and well-researched it was, and that it had a lot of information he had never even thought about. He’s going to buy a few copies for his work (he’s in a leadership position in a male-dominated industry) and try to reach out to local shelters for some partnerships. I know some people may say “oh this is the bare minimum” but it makes me happy that he’s willing to talk to other guys about it. So many men are willing to smile and nod when women talk about it, but the real responsibility we should be putting on them is for them to talk to other men.
I see so many posts here of men treating women absolutely terribly, in ways that are simply too normalized by society. I’m glad that we have this space to provide support to each other and connect us to resources that can help. There is nothing inherent about men that prevents them from understanding right and wrong, and if the men in your life are not interested in learning about signs and patterns of abuse, and reflect on how they can be a part of a community that actually holds men responsible, that’s on THEM, not on you. Also, I still highly recommend that book, it’s a classic for a reason and very well-written. I don’t think I can post a link here, but if you PM me, I can send you a PDF.