This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Alpha_uterus on 2023-08-04 02:15:17.
It’s 1am here and I’m on the sofa and can’t sleep. Apologies for the error in the title!
My grandfather passed this week and I’ve been understandably torn up about it. Though - relevant I feel - I still pushed myself to be intimate with my partner even though I wasn’t feeling it.
The following day I’m packing away shopping and see a message pop up on his phone. He stayed up til 5am messaging a woman he added from an NSFW discord server after seeing topless pics of her. He slid into her dms signing off their messages with ‘goodnight got stuff, race you to see who messages first in the morning!’
Naturally I confront him. And I tell him I’m leaving. He begs me to come back says it will never happen again and tells me I’m welcome to check all his devices as often as I need to trust him.
So, I hatch a plan. I work in tech, I’m not stupid with computers. I don’t tell him I’m coming back (he’d only try to hide things), and enter the house after he’s left for work.
Log into his computer - he’s cleared his internet history but not his password manager or dns cache. Gotcha. In no time at all I’m into his alternate email account and find out that the same night he messaged the woman on discord, he signed upto a website called ‘adultfriendfinder’ and listed himself in search of women and available to travel.
Small change at this point but he’s also been on only fans talking to a woman and spent over £60 in two months on live cam shows.
I just took out a tenancy with this man. I have no local family or friends that can put me up. I can’t afford the rent here alone. I’m here mourning my grandad and still cooking and cleaning and working and he’s here messaging internet women because he’s ‘lonely’.
He actually had me thinking this was my fault for not being affectionate enough. During the confrontation about the messages he said I always act so perfect and am playing the victim, I haven’t even confronted him about the adultfriendfinder yet. He’s at work sending me loving messages with no idea I know.
Why do they do this to us?