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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Expression_7258 on 2023-08-03 22:14:41.
My Dad and Mum are urging me to be more sympathetic but I disagree. I want to know if I am really an asshole because I feel pretty right in my position.
My (19F) uncle (50M) is in the middle of a nasty divorce. He can’t see his kids, he has 4 of them ages 3 to 10. His ex-wife has a restraining order against him. He’s currently living with my grandad. I’m not saying I’m on the side of his ex-wife because I don’t know the ins and outs of their divorce but she has always been very kind and supportive of me where my uncle has not. Also, whatever happened was clearly bad to the point of an order which has lasted 2+ months and is still ongoing.
He is also not my favourite uncle generally (I have 5). He was very intense and often played a lot of pranks on me when I was younger which made me cry and he would not apologise and tell me to toughen up. One time, I made a figurine out of clay in class and then he broke it for laughs and never apologised. My Dad glued it back together for me and told me that my uncle was just joking. I still hold a tiny grudge in the back of my mind because it was a figurine of me and my mum. He also is very loud and inserts his opinions where they are not wanted. He told me I should start looking at getting on the property ladder. I’m 19 and in this economy I’m clearly not going to get a house anytime soon.
He came over last night to chat to my Dad. I do not know if he was invited over, we both were very surprised when he showed up at our door so I don’t think he was. He does this often and I hate it. Phones exist. I was annoyed. I wanted some me-time in the living room after a busy day which I now couldn’t have. I said my hello and tried going upstairs but he asked me to make him a cup of tea. I said I was tired and my Dad ended up making him one.
This afternoon, my Dad called me rude for not making my uncle a cup of tea when he asked. I was so irritated because they were talking until 3am when I was trying to sleep and my uncle smoked and left the ashes in a jug I use to bake with. I let loose that it’s not my responsibility to make him a cup of tea, he keeps dropping by with no warning and that it’s no wonder he got divorced being so demanding and rude like that (he didn’t say please when asking about the tea). Next time he can make his own damn tea.
My Dad told me to be more sympathetic and my Mum also agreed with him but I don’t think I need to be sympathetic to someone who’s probably abusive just because he’s family. He has no consideration for anyone who is not himself. AITA?