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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Beneficial-Job-8964 on 2023-08-03 18:17:15.

As a bit of back story, we’re both born and raised in the UK, but are Pakistani by heritage. In our culture, arranged marriages are common (where your family will introduce you to potential matches).

We met around one year ago, both my father and his father knew each other through business. I was shown my husband’s picture and was happy to meet him. He seemed the shy type but was really kind to me.

My dad suggested we marry quickly, as apparently my husband-to-be had a previous problem with a long engagement. He seemed quite cold and distant on the wedding day, no smiles, even for pictures.

My husband didn’t want to consummate our marriage on the wedding night, and in 8 months of marriage, we’ve only slept together twice. I asked my husband if there was a problem and he never said anything.

Last weekend, he came home very drunk (a big no-no in our culture). He looked me dead in the eye and told me he hated me. He said that he thinks I’m ugly and annoying, and that every day is hell for him. He also cursed my father and brother with really offensive swears in our native language.

I went back to my parents house that evening, and the next day my husband explained. He said that he’s been forced into this marriage and he was trying to get out of it since day 1.

When his father showed him my picture, my husband said he didn’t find me attractive. When our families met, he said that he didn’t think we had any common ground. But apparently my father in law didn’t care to hear it.

My father in law threatened to disown my husband if he broke the engagement (because he’d already broken one engagement in the past). Also, my father in law used my husbands grandmother to guilt trip my husband (the grandmother is dying from cancer).

I asked my husband why he never said anything, and he told me that my own brother threatened to attack my husband if he ended the marriage. My husband also told me that he was in a 7 year relationship with a white woman, but his family forced him to end the relationship.

I can’t help but feel so heartbroken, this entire time our marriage was a lie.