This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hungry_Cloud_4137 on 2023-08-03 14:06:46.
I was estranged from my brother for years even though we lived 5 miles apart. I knew he had three kids and I only met the oldest boy “Dane” when he was like 2. A few years ago it came to my attention that my brother was going through a really tough time personally and financially and was fundamentally a single dad to an 8, 5 and 2yo.
I reached out and offered him money so he wouldn’t lose his home and he accepted. That led to us reconnecting although I reconnected with my nephews who are now 13, 10 and 7. My brother works weekends and I happily agreed to watch his kids. It’s no skin off my back. I’ve always worked from home and get paid a lot of money to do very little work during the week so it’s not a big deal to give up my weekends.
Dane has gotten more and more distant from me and he admitted that he doesn’t want to come over to my house on the weekends anymore. He’d prefer to stay home alone until his dad comes home. I thought it was a great idea and it’s better than having a passive aggressive teenager who hates being in your house.
I asked Dane if he wanted me to talk to his dad and he said he didn’t care. I spoke to my brother and said what would be the harm in letting Dane stay at home while you’re at work and the younger two are with me? I often leave Dane alone at my place and it didn’t burn down.
He and I argued for an hour over it. I said I didn’t understand his reluctance because I don’t live too far away if there is an emergency, everyone has a phone and my brother even has a camera in all the rooms.
He said he wasn’t even comfortable with trying it so I said then don’t bother bringing him to my house on the weekend. I’ll just bring him back home if he wants. He accused me trying to dictate how he parents and I said someone has to.