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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/heesun-o_0 on 2023-08-03 08:10:18.
I (F25) am the older sister and I have my own business. My sister (F18) is about to go to college and is finishing up her senior year. Unfortunately, my parents suddenly were not able to pay for my sister’s tuition and she is devastated. My sister is living with me now so that my parents can sort out their financial situation. She had gotten into an Ivy League school and now that she couldn’t go, she has locked herself in her room in my apartment and hasn’t come out except to go to the bathroom or grab DoorDash from the front door. Finally, she came out a week ago and has been trying to move on.
Since living with me, she has learned that my business is pretty successful and I am on the wealthier side. Plus, I lived alone before she came to my apartment so I was not spending a lot of money to support myself either. 2 weeks ago, she came up to me and asked for me to pay for her college tuition. We had a discussion about how it would work and what the price was for her to attend. When we worked out the details (which was over multiple days of deliberation and consideration), it turns out I am able to pay for her college tuition and other fees. In our theoretical plan, it was decided that during the summer of her 3rd year, she would need to secure a job above minimum wage to help pay as well.
I told her that the amount I would be paying would hinder my life and my business and she would need to cut down on some of the unnecessary things like having a dorm room to herself without roommates in order for it to work. Granted, the amount I would be paying would still allow for my business to stay intact and for me to live in appropriate conditions. She told me that those “unnecessary things” were actually very important for her to attend college properly and that she could not cut down. Some of the things we wanted was a room without a roommate, access to a library that has a hefty membership fee, decorative and overpriced furniture, and a new desktop computer with the computer, the display, the keyboard, and the mouse with an ergonomic mousepad included.
I’ve decided not to pay for her college tuition unless she can compromise. She won’t talk to me and chooses to ignore the fact that I exist. She has thrown two tantrums in the past week about how I’m being selfish when our plan clearly shows that I am capable of paying and this is not an opportunity to pass up. She has now contacted our older brother (M30) and he has been calling and texting me non-stop to let her go because it was a really good school and one of ones that was very high on my sister’s list of applications. AITA for requiring her to compromise in this very important opportunity for her or am I in the right to put my foot down on this decision?