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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PayContent4706 on 2023-08-03 11:53:02.
I lost my wife Lana 20 years ago after the birth of our son. Lana and I were childhood sweethearts who saw ourselves growing old together. She was my everything. But during her pregnancy they discovered she had cancer and because she was already terminal, she dedicated the final months of her life to giving birth to a healthy son and making sure he and I would be okay. She died hours after he was born. The pregnancy as well as the delivery (c-section) weakened her significantly. Only living long enough to get one photo with him. It was such a painful time. And I always knew I would consider myself married until I pass away as well.
This was difficult for my family to understand. I was 26. They felt like I was young enough to bounce back fast and remarry and continue life with a new family and new love. But that never held any interest for me. I have never taken off my wedding ring. I have been asked out over the years and I always say no, and if pushed that I am married, and people rarely ask questions. Over the years my family have introduced me to women who they think could be the one to change my mind. It is something we have disagreed over. They even asked my son if he wouldn’t like a new mommy when he was little and it resulted in no contact for a while. They eventually apologized.
My sister and her husband celebrated 30 years of marriage last month and they threw a party with family and friends. My sister invited a friend of hers along who I have never met. She started talking to me during the party and mentioned that my sister said we would be perfect for each other, and how she was excited for us to spend some time together after the party. I asked her what she meant by that and she said we were going out to dinner, just the two of us, right after. I told her I never agreed to that and then I told her I was married. She got the idea that I was divorced. I told her that my wife had passed away many years ago but I considered myself still married. She was shocked and afterward my sister was angry at me. She told me I had made her out to be a liar and her friend was hurt that she tried to set her up with someone who was so hung up on someone else. I told her I had made it perfectly clear I would not be dating. That she was the one who gave her friend the impression I wanted to date. She told me telling people I’m married when I’m not anymore is wrong. That it pushes people away and gives them the wrong idea.
I left early because she was not willing to let it go. Afterward my BIL said my sister meant well and I have to understand where the concern comes from because even though I found my own happiness, it’s not the way my family wanted me to and they worry even more now my son’s in college.
AITA?