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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Necessary_End_6464 on 2023-08-03 04:15:46.
I’m sure many of us have read or heard of this book, but for those who haven’t, I can ASSURE you, it will be one of the best purchases you will EVER make in your entire life. This book CAN extend your life and also help you THRIVE.
I have not read it in it’s entirety but I am going to this time, aloud to my daughter. I was quite surprised about all the comments she made as if she is a therapist herself. She always astounds me with her wisdom.
If you don’t know already, this is a book written by a man named Lundy Bancroft who for the past 25 years, has been a therapist who specializes in treatment for batterers and the battered. What he realized in his program meant to rehabilitate abusers, is that most of the therapy meant for them was built completely around misconceptions of why abusers abuse and that they can be changed. More often than not, they CANNOT change and he explains why in thorough detail. He then made it his mission to educate women on all the excuses abusers make for their reasons to abuse as well as the excuses women make for why it occurs as we have been conditioned.
Now I thought I knew quite a bit myself, but repeatedly tonight I kept having eye opening moments on things discussed that I never thought of or had a completely wrong viewpoint and realized how I have made excuses for abusers.
If anyone is interested in commenting on some of the key points he made in this book that were profound to you, please share so that people on this sub can see and hopefully be encouraged to read this book.
Out of many, one I will point out is the myth that men who are abused by their bosses then bring home that anger and abuse their partners because it gives them a sense of control and to be able to vent out their own suffering they experience at work. Mr. Bancroft points out this is a total misconception as whether an abuser is a subordinate or a boss at work, it does not matter, they will still abuse. He states in bold letters, that in his entire career, he has never ONCE counseled an abuser whose abusive ways stopped because their work situation improved.
Please share your thoughts if you wish. I’m sorry if this topic gets brought up too often on this sub, it just seems to me to be of the utmost importance and is a succinct synopsis in one book that can enlighten women whether you are a woman who is currently being abused, have been abused in the past, or have never been abused at all.