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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nomakeupp3 on 2023-08-03 00:04:51.
I hate makeup. I’m just really bad at it and don’t think it suits my face. I kind of skipped that phase when all my friends were buying it and figuring it out and i’ve gone through life make-up free. Before you think i’m a Not Like Other Girls girl, I think it’s really cool on everyone else but it’s just not for me.
My friend Jessie (27) is getting married and she picked me to be a bridesmaid along with 4 others. I don’t really know the girls that well but I’ve known Jessie since I was in school and we’ve always kept in touch so she asked me.
The wedding is in a month from now. She’s asked us all to wear dresses, high heels and she wants us to get our hair done and make-up done for the big day. I’m also not really a huge dress or heel wearer but I decided to go with it to make her happy. The only thing I’m against is wearing makeup. I don’t want to look at the photos and look at a strange version of myself and feel uncomfortable.
One of the other bridesmaids decided that we should all go to lunch yesterday to talk about wedding things. I thought it would be a nice opportunity to get to know everyone better so I went. I thought it would be about planning a surprise gift for Jessie because it’s been an idea that was floating around. Instead, the conversation drifted more towards our wedding looks so we could all look similar but different which is where I brought up that I wasn’t going to wear make up, maybe eyeliner or lipstick at most.
Everyone was really shocked and it’s caused a sort of divide between me and the other girls. They all know each other better than me having been friends with Jessie in university. They were trying to persuade me to wear make-up to make her happy because it’s her wedding and what she wanted us to wear as part of our dress code. I tried telling them that I’m already pushing my comfort level just wearing a long dress and heels over 4 inches high but they wouldn’t listen and they made me feel like I was being selfish.
I called Jessie to talk about it and ask if it would be a huge deal for me not to wear make up and she said it was okay but she was disappointed I couldn’t suck it up for one day. It’s not even like I have acne or any visible scars, my skin is very clear and I look after it well which is another reason I don’t want to wear any. Now she and the other bridesmaids apparently made a Pinterest board of no-makeup makeup looks and have fired it into the groupchat and they all trying to persuade me to wear it. Saying that it’s not like it’s a permanent change to the way I look and I’ll have so much fun at the wedding I’ll forget i’m wearing it.
Am I an asshole for not wanting to wear makeup? I see where they’re coming from but also I’m trying to be the most comfortable I can be on what is going to be a really busy day.
ETA - If I knew it was going to be a requirement when I accepted this role, I wouldn’t have and attended as just a guest. Jessie asked me if I was willing to be a bridesmaids as soon as she was engaged which was months ago