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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Pee_A_Poo on 2023-08-02 20:21:41.
She’s the reason I’m a militant feminist and she would not be flattered hearing that. She’s an MRA’s ideal of a trad wife and has no sense of self worth and only expresses her identity through her family. Or rather how outsiders perceive my family.
She married a virgin. Passed on career opportunities because she didn’t want to make more than my dad. My maternal grandmother was extremely abusive and she cried and begged us to live with her and keep being abused because she wanted to maintain the happy family façade. She controlled what friends I had (none), what clothes I wore, and what shows I was allowed to watch. My entire childhood was defined by crying and screaming in the household and pretending that we were a happy family to the outside.
I left home at 18 for college and never moved back. She wanted me to move back but I kept moving further and further because I found her presence suffocating, eventually going LC when I moved to a different continent altogether. Every conversation we have ends with some variation of “I sacrificed my happiness for yours and all I ask is you give me grandchildren.”
My dad (73M) has stage IV cancer and she is now in complete denial. She has no plan or capability to live life on her own. My dad is trying to make peace with mortality and help her prepare for independence but she wouldn’t have any of it. She hid his prognosis and refuses to discuss it. She guilt trips my dad into going through unpleasant and alternative medical procedures against his will.
My parents are the reason why I don’t want children. But they are the reason why I’m happily married. My partner and I are financially independent but also collaborate on our mortgage. We plan on dying together but if one of us is gone one day we know the other will survive. I learned to be a better person by doing the opposite of what my parents do.