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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Longjumping_Horse952 on 2023-08-02 13:14:34.

Please read to the end before judging.

This happened a few months ago and, when she found out I was upset over it, my wife apologised at the time and I happily moved on with life as she seemed genuinely remorseful. She’s recently brought it up again and stated she was only sorry I was upset but not about anything else as she sees nothing wrong with what happened and I’m just over reacting.

What’s the story? My wife, sister and sister in law were planning to go out and have drinks one night and after asking if I wanted to go, and accepting, they decided they just wanted to have girls night and unceremoniously revoked my invitation. Not a problem, it was a Sunday night and I don’t handle hangovers as well as I used to, so I saw them off and settled in for the night.

A few hours later I get a phone call from wife stating they are leaving the bar and going to the casino with SILs boyfriend. I asked what happened to the girls night and was told they wanted to meet him. I told her I felt a bit hard done by since my invitation to the night was revoked under the guise of a girls night, but ultimately left the conversation there and offered to pick then up later if they needed a lift home. I was awoken in the early hours of the morning to my wife coming home and apologising for what happened. I was taken aback as it seemed to be a, rarely seen, sincere apology. I accepted it and went to sleep happy and never brought up the subject again.

Just recently, wife was planning another girls night at a friend’s place and stated “knowing my friend, i wouldn’t be surprised if guys show up”. I asked if that was the norm for her friend and she replied that she hadn’t had a girls night there before and she was just forewarning me so I don’t get upset again. After saying she wasn’t actually sorry for the previous time, it quickly turned into an argument of “you’re getting mad over nothing” and “how would you like it if I exclude you from group events”.

Although we are both pretty hot headed at times, usually there’s a patch of grey in arguments we have. This time however, I can’t see it as anything but being disrespected and my wife can’t see it as anything but me being controlling. AITA?