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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tank-surfs-up on 2023-08-02 13:11:06.
Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend behind while I drove to our workplace in my car?
Last night I [23 F] texted and asked my boyfriend [25 M] to come down to the basement where my office space and new futon are. He replied “nah” and then asked me me to come upstairs to go to bed. (He probably wanted cuddles).
But I told him it was important to me and I wanted him to come see my new arrangement/new set up in the basement. He didn’t reply to my text. So I slept downstairs on the futon.
This morning I left without him to go to work (we work at the same place). He called me and asked me if I overslept. He assumed I was still at home in the basement. I said no I left.
He was in so much shock he kept asking me “did you actually leave me? You’re not at work.”
Then I tried to tell him “I asked you to see something that was important to me. And you ignored me.”
He got mad. He said he slept through his alarms. You really left me. Over that?"
Then I tried to tell him again “I’m mad because I said it was someting IMPORTANT to ME, but you–” But before I could finish my sentence he ended the call.
how I feel about it in this moment is:
If he’s too lazy to drive himself I understand. He has his own car but if we’re going to the same place it makes sense to drive together. But missing your alarms? You’re an adult. You should wake yourself up and if you don’t you’ll be late to work. That’s on you. Don’t rely on me to be your mommy and wake you up and wait for you to get ready. I don’t know…
I feel bad for hurting his feelings and literally leaving him behind. But at the same time he’s an adult who has his own car and his own job separate from mine. If he’s late that’s on him. Why should I have to be late every morning because he can’t wake himself up on time. Or vice versa I don’t want to make him late because of me.
I felt so much better without the responsibility of taking care of him in the mornings. But now I feel bad.
So, Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend behind while I drove to our workplace in my car?