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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/bigredplastictuba on 2023-08-02 15:47:09.
I hadn’t run into it because I’ve been involved with the same handful of people for nearly a decade. One of them eventually, over the years, as we got comfortable would kind of gently ask ME to put my hands around his neck or get a little rough, but he’s always a bit sheepish about it and admits it’s because he’s a bit brain-poisoned by porn. ANYWAY so I was hanging out peacefully playing video games with an (until then) platonic guy friend (of about a week and a half) and then we started making out and WITHIN TEN SECONDS OF IT he’s fucking on top of me, gleefully calling me names, trying to slap me around and choking me with both hands. I’d given ZERO indication, even in jokes or anything, that I was into that, AND he has a fucking felony for assault from like 15 years ago! (For a little context to lessen the shock of that last sentence, I work in a kitchen/bar so we’re all along the felonious spectrum but yeah). Dude! You have a violence problem! I immediately made him stop and he was honestly confused and apologized profusely and seemed to have no idea why that was freaky and unacceptable. That whole suite of moves is so obnoxious and so common in porn that it’s honestly just boring and unimaginative ON TOP OF not even being inherently sexy. I mean I get some of yall like it, but it’s NOT inherently sexy. I’m into some weird shit but just immediately assuming that sex = degrading one-sided violence right out the gate is just pathetic and brain-wormsy. How disappointing.