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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Immediate_Laugh_598 on 2023-08-02 13:11:23.
I 18F have been dating a guy 21M on and off for around a year, but we made it official 3 months ago and have been monogamous ever since. I’ve been really enjoying my time with him because he’s sweet, interesting, and seems to really care about me. But he’s mad at me now because I rejected his very expensive and nice gift.
Basically, last night we were out for dinner and he tells me that he has a surprise for me. He pulls out a small jewelry box and shows me that there’s a pearl necklace inside. My heart literally dropped, I mean it was gorgeous but my first thought was, this must have been a fortune.
He explained to me that it was his mom’s before she passed away and that his dad gave it to her. I almost cried I mean the whole thing was so sweet and meaningful. But, I paused and realized that it wasn’t appropriate. I panicked for a moment because I didn’t want to be rude but I just let him down easy. Of course, I thanked him first and told him it meant a lot, but
I told him that since we’ve only officially been together for 3 months and since this is such a beautiful and meaningful piece of jewelry that’s probably very expensive, I wouldn’t feel right taking it. I could lose it or break it and I’d never forgive myself. He looked very hurt and sort of just put it away. I felt bad but he seemed fine the rest of the night.
This morning I wake up to a text from him that was pretty detailed, he explained that me rejecting it made him feel unwanted and like I was rejecting HIM, not just the necklace. I haven’t responded but I’m extremely confused, I mean yes I like him and I dig him but we’re not so serious yet that I can accept a very expensive and rich backstory piece of jewelry right? I feel guilty and I have no idea how to respond to him. AITA?