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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Individual_Speech_10 on 2023-08-02 13:40:54.
Long post
I made another long post on here a couple of weeks ago about another person that treated me like trash, and here it is happening again.
I don’t understand why it’s so hard for me to make friends. Everyone I meet either barely talks to me, or treats me terribly and I don’t understand why.
About a month ago I met a guy that I thought would be a great friend and, of course, this blew up in my face as well just like every other time. In this instance, this dumbass thought that I was interested in him as more than a friend even though I stated multiple times that I’m looking for friends and trying to make friends and I want to befriend him because he’s nice and easy to talk to and actually responds when I try to contact him. I treated him no differently than I treat anyone else that I try to befriend and I wanted him to do the same and treat me no differently than he treats his other friends.
The other day, we went to a picnic with a group we’re both a part of and, on my way out, I confronted him about why it is that he and I never spend any time together by ourselves yet he spends time with his other friends by themselves. He then says “I don’t feel a romantic spark with you.” And I’m like, what the hell are you talking about? Is that a prerequisite for spending time with you? Do you feel a romantic spark for your male friends as well? I tell him that I don’t like him in that way and ask him why he thought that. He said “I think that about everyone. I’m an asshole.” I just walk away from him feeling stupid and embarrassed.
The next day, I text him to tell him that he hurt my feelings and acted like a jerk. He then reveals to me that we never hang out by ourselves because he was uncomfortable being alone with me and was trying to avoid me because he “didn’t want to lead me on”. We had multiple conversations the week before about fun things we could do together and he said that he wanted to do them, and is now telling me that it was all a lie and he never actually intended to ever hang out. I told him that that is literally leading me on and is an incredibly cruel thing to do.
He also said some nonsense about not thinking it’s a good idea for friends to hook up and that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship because “I’m so great” and he already made the mistake of hooking up with a friend and didn’t want that with me. I was like, who ever said that that was even on the table? Even if I was interested in you, that doesn’t mean I’m going to hook up with you. I don’t just hook up with people. And what does any of that have to do with what we’re talking about? Is he trying to say that if we were alone in the same room and I came into him, he wouldn’t be able to control himself or something? So many weird assumptions with this guy.
He then goes on to explain how I kept giving him mixed signals and everything that he listed were just things that I do with everyone. The stupidest one was that I talked to him about some past bad experiences I’ve had trying to date. Talking about personal problems is what friends do, or at least that’s what friends do in my world. Apparently in his world, talking about personal issues means you’re interested in someone. What’s hilarious is that this all happened when we were going to a concert and one of the other guys in the group also talked about one of his exes and how he left him for someone else. He even showed up pictures of him. But apparently that’s okay but what I did isn’t? He literally said that it’s different when guys talk about personal stuff than when a woman does it with a man. I’m like, no, it’s different for you because you are a dumbass. The fact that you are incapable of treating men and women the same is your own problem, but mine.
He also said “everyone” could see that I was into him. Who the freak is “everyone”? Like I said, I never treated him differently than anyone else and yet he is the only one that had that interpretation. I’m fact, several guys have told me the exact opposite, that I’m too friendly and should be more obviously flirty if I want to display interest. I’m fairly confident that “everyone” is actually, maybe, two people, and he let them get inside his head instead of just talking to me. I told him that I don’t like being turned into gossip and that this whole thing is immature and juvenile. He didn’t seem to think that this was a problem and started to get annoyed with the conversation and just disappeared. What right does this mofo have to be annoyed when I was the one that was lied to and manipulated?
This dumbass clearly has issues and projected those issues onto me and then tried to blame me for it. If he thought I was interested in him, he should’ve just talked to me and asked me if it’s true instead is just assuming that it is and lying. That is what something who is a friend and respects their friend would do. But I’m apparently I’m not good enough for that kind of treatment. No, instead, I get douchebag treatment and I haven’t done anything wrong.
TL;DR- My feelings just don’t matter to anyone.