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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Calm_Honeydew_7123 on 2023-08-01 19:39:44.
My dad’s stepdaughter is 18 and she’s expecting a baby. I don’t know much about the circumstances overall. I only know there is no father in the picture for this baby and no paternal family either. Oh, and that she’s living with my dad and his wife again.
So my dad’s wife called me up randomly a few days ago and told me that her daughters friends are not offering to throw her a baby shower and that as her sister, I would be the next best person to throw her one, because I am closer to her age group. She told me I have failed her daughter as a sister in the past by refusing to be her big sister and acting like I don’t have a responsibility to her. This is where I can make it up to her and get off on good footing as an aunt.
I told my dad’s wife I would not be throwing her daughter a shower but she is more than free to and if I have the time available I might show up. She told me it wasn’t good enough and I’m supposed to be her daughter’s big sister, that she promised her a big sister. I told her she should have adopted an older girl OR found a husband with a daughter who wanted to be a big sister. I told her she married a man whose daughter had no interest in taking on the role and after 15 years it was time she accepted that. She told me that my behavior was worse than when I chose to stop going to my dad’s house during his parenting time when I was 13. I told her I was okay with that.
I thought we were done but yesterday she called again and I gave her the same answer; no. She called me an asshole and told me I am hurting her daughter who is innocent in all of this.
Late last night I got a message from, who I assume is her daughter but I can’t be positive since I don’t have the girls number, and she said she was sorry her mom was being pushy and she was sorry if I hated her but she would really love it if I wanted to even throw a shower with her. She said she could really use a big sister and she’s always loved me even if I never loved or cared about her. It made me question if I was too harsh in saying no because she did hit the nail on the head, she always loved and admired me while I never loved or cared for her.
AITA?