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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/czem196 on 2023-08-01 17:16:19.
Hi, first post here. I’m (65f) visiting my son (27m) and daughter-in-law (26f) in a month. I’m staying with them for two weeks. It’s the first time I’m staying with them in their home, usually I stay at a hotel but they recently bought a bigger home so I asked to stay. My grandchild (3m) is generally very good but occasionally he does things that I don’t find appropriate. I am quick to correct these behaviors. For example, he will chew on his stuffed animals and I tell him “stop don’t do that”, but then my DIL will correct me and say “no it’s comforting to him”. Or she will let him do the stairs by himself and when I yelled at him to “be careful” and “wait for grandma”. My DIL told me that he has been doing the stairs and it’s better to give him “confidence” with a watchful eye instead of carrying him. My DIL and I have a lot of differing opinions on things. When grandson was a newborn, she wouldn’t let me kiss him which really hurt my feelings since I didn’t get to bond with him as much as I wanted. My son called me and said maybe to get a hotel because he and DIL (I’m guessing DIL only though) feel uncomfortable since I try to always correct my grandson and I don’t leave the parenting up to them when I’m around. This might sound harsh but I feel like my DIL is the AH because she shouldn’t be correcting me, I have a lot of experience. AITAH?
Edit: hopefully I’m doing this right. Sounds like I’m the AH. I think a lot has changed since I was a parent. I’m used to grandparents stepping in. I have two sons. I have no issues with my other son (32m). I miss the days where we had a village. It seems my DIL doesn’t want that. I do understand the kissing newborn thing and I was wrong. I have different views on independence with kids and parenting. Where do I go from here? I know I need to have a conversation with them. Sounds like I need to apologize. I think it will take a while for me to make a change because I still believe what I believe.