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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/bricabrica on 2023-08-01 19:08:59.
Looking for somewhere to get this off my chest, possibly talk to someone anonymously.
I met and got engaged to a wonderful guy over the past year. We get along great, our families get along, we have similar values and tastes, and we make each other very happy. However, he told me some things about experimenting with his stepsister as a child, and matching with her on Tinder as an adult.
She superliked him on at least 3 occasions, and said “idk lol” when he asked her why the first time. He said they don’t talk, but they sent each other tiktoks, instagram reels, and liked each other’s posts till he blocked her a couple months ago (because he said he didn’t want me to worry.)
I’ve noticed when he mentions his family, he no longer talks about her in front of me. He wants to invite her to the wedding, and she will be at family functions in the future. He’s on multiple occasions brought up how he’s upset and concerned with her music festival/drinking/dating lifestyle, which is very very similar to mine. Yet he says it’s great and fine that I do those things, and he has no issue with other people casually dating.
People keep telling me they aren’t actually related, so it shouldn’t be an issue if they had something going on. People also say Tinder superlikes are just a way of saying “Hi”, but she kept superliking him, and I don’t see why he matched with her if he actually found it odd like he claims.
Part of me feels deep disgust when I think about stepsibling romance, and I don’t want to be with someone who wanted their sister. I wouldn’t want to go to functions where his exes would be present, and even though she’s family, it makes me uncomfortable in the same way.
I was going to speak to his sisters or mother about it in the hopes it would ease my mind, but after thought, it seems like that would guarantee offending them and burning bridges, as it’s their family.
I’ve been wildly depressed the last few days, because I don’t think I can stomach the thought of him and his stepsister, so the only option I see is ending the engagement to avoid living with the doubt and discomfort. I’ll be trying to get things in order for the next few weeks before committing to anything. If anyone has any similar experiences to share or any thoughts, I’d love to hear about it. If you read this rant, thanks so much for your time.