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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/divebars5G on 2023-08-01 10:30:43.
This recent experience in particular really opened my eyes to how my entire life I’ve spent apologizing for men, feeling like I owed men for stupid stuff. I invited a man over late at night clearly hinting at a hookup recently and didn’t want to disappoint him and make him feel like he did that for nothing so I followed through with the sex even when I wasn’t feeling it anymore. Why? The man clearly didn’t have respect for my own body because things happened and I should have just stopped it. This isn’t even an isolated event.
If I feel like I lead a guy on because I flirted a bit much but wasn’t ready for sex I feel bad, I apologize. Why? I’m 26 years old and all I’ve ever done was care so much about how the man was feeling without ever taking my own feelings in account until it was too late and I hurt myself. Im tired of feeling like all I have to offer is my body and that’s all guys care for. If it’s not an option somehow I am always left feeling like the bad guy and it’s not fair on myself. I have a hard time liking men anymore, I don’t like the way they make me feel. I don’t like feeling like the only reason why they are nice to me is so they can hope to hookup and never talk to me again. I hate how I continue to let these behaviors and thoughts about myself happen.