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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/foehns on 2023-08-01 04:31:56.

I want to change this perspective I’ve got going on right now because it seems really unfair and unhealthy for me as well, but I really need some advice.

I’ve just sort of come to the realization that I’ve never had a single male friend, not ONE, who’s not at some point or another expressed interest in getting in my pants. The only exception I can think of is my gay manager.

I’m 23F and I have a girlfriend. I am not interested in men. I make it as obvious as I can that I have never, and never will be interested in any man. But for the past while that hasn’t stopped my Uber drivers from crudely hitting on me and purposely taking the longer route, my trusted coworkers from asking me how I’d like to get fucked and dominated in private, the passenger next to me on public transit drunkenly harassing me for my number, my boss from making misogynistic jokes about me in the workplace, or my best online friend asking for nudes in exchange for being kind. And they all just get a pass, because guys will be guys?

It’s like I can’t escape it. Even as far back as middle school, my first friend only became my friend because he liked me and later became obsessed with the idea of a threesome after he found out I was a lesbian. He just got his first girlfriend last year and I have barely heard from him since.

I just feel like trash. Literal human trash. It feels like every male individual out there that shows interest in a friendship with me secretly beats one off to the thought of me at night. And the worst part is sometimes I get so anxious and uncomfortable I will admit defeat and give them my number just to escape the situation and then block them. I laugh when I’m nervous and I’m terrified that seems like consent to continue.

I feel disgusting and small. I just want to cry and hide. I like girls. I fall in love with people for who they are. I don’t hypersexualize random women out on the street. I don’t understand. I tend to hang out with guys because I work in a male-dominated field. I never thought I was pretty. I saw myself as one of the guys. For years I’d hear women say things like “no man ever wants to be JUST your friend” and I’d stick up for the ones that are different, every single time. But I also just found out that all my male coworkers keep a tally of the women who are hired at my job, and compete to see who can get inside them first.

My friends aren’t really my friends. I’m just beside myself. Everyone was right.

Even though I’m a lesbian, I think I need reassurance that there are decent men in this world who are capable of friendship. am I just way, way too naive? Is this just how things are? If so, I hate it. TIA