This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Bella14LV on 2023-08-01 00:09:11.
I remember reading a piece on Bored Panda:
It said, “I’ve Been Asking My Male Friends To Do Something – Watch If The First Response To Everything A Woman Tells You Is To Refute, Say No, Or Something Negative.”
I have a hobby (disaster preparedness) that is male dominated and have been a long-time lurker in a sub for it but decided to start posting after seeing a lack of general information posts under the advice tags. New to posting there yet easily have 10+ years of experience on the subject.
Holy shit.
While the majority of posts in the sub get few comments, suddenly, I had multiple, initial comments telling me I was crazy, delusional, probably new to preparedness, that preparedness doesn’t matter as long as you know your neighbours, I clearly was watching too much TV, I was making up scenarios, I was having an unrealistic fantasy, blah, blah, blah. This was on a post about the dangers of arrogance in disaster preparedness - specifically that it is dangerous to think you’re safe because you own a generator without learning manual redundancies. I included tips on how to account for security concerning light and sound from generators in a long-term disaster situation - in a preparedness subreddit.
If a man had written my post, I am willing to bet my life that it would have been well received as this is general preparedness information someone new might need.
As I clearly have a female screen name, the very first interaction with me from so many men was just what the article said - refute, say no or say something negative.
When I’d respond, even positively, down votes came in on everything I’ve recently posted to even other subs, and of course received Reddit cares messages. Men were saying that I was “telling them what to do” on a general information post tagged “advice / tips”…
As one man replied, I was not listening to their valid opinions and advice by supposedly doubling down on my position. This same man’s initial reply to my post was to say I had obviously been watching a particular TV show.
As men statistically are the consumers of disaster preparedness products and the ones purchasing it for their families, my first post was about increasing stored water to account for period diarrhoea and increased toileting needs for women in their families, considering stocking disposable menstruation products and making a plan for their disposal as reusables aren’t feasible in a disaster situation. Can’t wash pads if you have limited safe water.
Again, men were up in arms, including one who complained that this topic came up “every 6 months.” Another said it’s not his job to consider what a woman needs in a situation like this, rather a woman should proactively tell him what she needs. Never mind female children and adult children with mental disabilities who rely on their parents to obtain period supplies.
These men’s responses reminds me of Emma’s piece about emotional labour, “You Should Have Asked.”
Luckily my husband is into my hobby and supportive, but I weep for the women who have to deal with these types of men in real life. Exhausting.