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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/damnitidkausername on 2023-07-31 11:02:53.

he was kissing me and i knew it would lead to sex, and i was going to tell him i didnt want to until i felt turned on and decided why not, as i usually do

i realised i was disassociating the whole time until after i finished and i told him to stop and he did straight away and i had an episode (i have ptsd related to sex).

i feel awful, he had a panic attack because he thinks he raped me and then i had a panic attack because of him thinking that

i told him its completely on me because i should have told him, and that i just switched off completely during sex and didnt even think about telling him to stop

i feel really scared because i dont know what happened and i dont know when im seeing him next and i just kinda dont wanna feel this way right now

i cant stop crying i love him so much and hed never ever hurt me i just dont know what came over me, im so confused

i dont really know where else to post, sorry