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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/shmilling on 2024-08-19 02:19:02+00:00.

The season before last I had my then 2-year-old place stickers on a printout of preselected odds of 5 college football games a week, I then placed bets on them. I don’t typically bet on sports, as it’s a great way to lose money and I have stuff to save for, like his college. He ended up doing well and we stashed some additional fun money away into his college fund. It was a fun commentary on the degeneracy of sports betting. I looked forward to doing the write-ups weekly and he fucking loves stickers so it was a win-win.

However, as almost all parents have experienced he got sick in week 8, then I of course got sick the following week, and finally, the sticker king’s mom got sick and I couldn’t keep up So three weeks of being sick put an end to the fun. 

This year we are back, the Sticker King returns to lead you all to profitability. If you are doubting his ability to do well this year keep in mind his grandmother tells me how smart he is all the time, He frequently convinces me that he can have one more popsicle, and his rock collection is the largest in his class. If that doesn’t convince you then I don’t know what will.

In celebration of the season starting next week, I have invested $50 into season win totals. Was there a rigorous process of selection? No. Did I go to a random CFB team generator and use that? Yes. It has already taken three full episodes of “Spidey and His Amazing Friends” to get this far so I’m running low on allocated screen time and need to wrap this up.

As his designated sticker interpreter I’ll clarify his thought process but remember I’m no savant and wouldn’t dare to compare myself to the Sticker King, I’m just some dude who had a kid, in this economy. I am simply the conduit for his genius and can be prone to interpretation errors.

View the specifics and the Rules on our tracker

Overs:

  • Kent State - Through the collective effort of making the Golden Flashes the Owners of Ohio in CFB25 we are looking at a 3+ win Kent State. Perhaps a playoff contender?
  • Washington State - A dark horse to make the top two in the Pac12 is looking at a solid 8-win season. I’m excited to see them could do well.
  • Tennessee - Bud placed his largest number of stickers on Tennessee. We are looking at 9 wins. A potential SEC champion participant? Exciting stuff for the Vols.
  • Michigan - Will the post-championship year be a hangover? Maybe, but it won’t be nearly as bad as having a hangover when you have a toddler.
  • Penn State - Happy Valley will be happy with 11 wins and a play-off berth. It looks like the Nittany Lions might be the Sticker King’s pick for Big10 champ.
  • Miami (FL) - I want to be a hater but the kid is telling me I’m wrong, Miami is looking at 10 wins and possible ACC champs, that is if they can take a knee when they need to.
  • New Mexico State - the Lobos will win a game they shouldn’t. r/cfb can hope for a Lobo upset over Liberty.
  • BYU- A second year in the BigXII is looking better and a bowl game may be on the horizon.

Unders

  • Indiana - With three stickers on the Hoosiers, five wins is the cap.
  • Rutgers - No real Big10 chaos in these predictions but Rutgers can make a bowl with 6 wins.
  • Texas - Welcome to the SEC. Texas got two stickers on the under. He seems confident that this year may be tougher than some anticipate. Why won’t Texas play at the Alamodome? Are they scared of UTSA?
  • Nebraska - still not back
  • Troy - Two stickers here. Troy may not see a bowl game. The Trojans are in for an up-and-down year and a significant drop-off from last season

If you want a specific game for next week reply and I’ll put it in I don’t care, I’m tired. We’ll pick 10 games for him to provide his expert analysis on.

See you all next week, kisses.

Disclaimer:

*p.s. If you are worried about my son’s well-being this is not his actual college fund. I am using my “fun” money that would be used on some other stupid hobby. If you are concered about the image htis is creating, he is three and cannot read. From his perspective we are just having some quality time putting stickers on numbers.

I do not have a gambling problem and aside from this do not typically gamble. If you do have a gambling problem please take it searously and seek help*

\If you need help with addiction to gambling The National Problem Gambling Helpline (1-800-522-4700) is available 24/7 and is 100% confidential. \