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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LtGoldenGun on 2023-07-31 04:33:11.

Hi there, need a judgement call on this one.

My wife and I are having a first child and are set for an Induction date next week.

We told close family the date and obviously my mother of the date. Said we are unsure of our plans for the day of etc.

We go in on Day 1 afternoon where my wife will stay after being induced and I will have to return (after going home late Day 1) on Day 2 (early morning) and she will be in labour.

This induction is due to gestation diabetes, which means could be long birth, C section and on top child could be unwell after birth.

My mother lives about 2 and half hours away from me. My mother made plans to come stay at my home Day 1 night and Day 2 night without asking me, booked in to drop my grandmother (who has been staying with her as she is unwell) at my sisters (who told me just the other day of this, my mother had not mentioned) and said she would be ready to come up within 30mins once child is born.

I told my mother that we don’t want anyone staying at our home any of the days from Day 1 - for first week or so. We want to have our own space to come freely from and to the house without anywhere pressure. I told her I want to come home from Day 1 night immediately and sleep and go back as early as possible on Day 2 to be with my wife with no distractions or stopping etc.

My mother is extremely upset by this, has said that we have made her feel like we don’t want her apart of our lives, that she is an Add-on because I told her we would let her know when child is born to come see them. She has also said I have broken a part of her heart. Her partner (not my father) has yelled at me on the phone to understand what my mother is saying, but I am not backing down. We want our own space and I don’t want to be stressed or concerned about anyone else in this time.

It is one week before and I am feeling super stressed about it as now I not only have to contend with my new child and life but also possibility that now my mother is extremely upset at me.

I’ve even offered to pay for somewhere for her to stay Day 1 and Day 2 nights.

AITA?