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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/frankie-downhill on 2023-07-31 01:23:56.

Sorry for my English, I’m not a native English speaker. Also my writing might seem rushed, this experience is weighing on me and I need to get it out. Hopefully my post makes sense anyway.

A few weeks ago I got on the train, it was very crowded so I had to sit opposite a dad (about 40 years old) and his son (whom I’d say was about 4-6 years old). The kid was restless and the dad was looking overwhelmed when the kid started messing around with the train’s magazines and plastic bags.

I tried ignoring it, but the kid kept making a mess, so I gave the dad a sympathetic smile and helped clean up the magazines and put them back to where they belonged. Parents get overwhelmed, and even though I’m not a fan of kids at all, I do have a lot of patience for them.

The dad gestured for me to take out my ear buds, and expressed gratitude. I just said a quick “no problem”, and tried to put my ear buds in again when he interrupted me. He asked if I had any kids, I told him I did not (I’m 20, was not wearing makeup so I definitely looked “my age” aka I look pretty young).

He kept trying to make small talk in a mix of broken English/broken (my native language), and I was trying to be nice. Asking where I was going etc. I was being patient, maybe he was just trying to practice these new languages, right? Well, he then pointed to my ring and asked if I was married. I’m beating myself up right now, because I should have said yes. But I was an idiot and told him the truth, that I was not married. He said something along the lines of “we should get married, please”, but I assumed it was a joke, or a misunderstanding due to the language barrier. I ignored it.

Then he asked for my name with a big smile. I lied and told him my name was Anna. I was not dumb enough to give him my real name, at least. After trying to engage in some small talk I didn’t understand because of the language barrier, he whipped out his phone and showed me his Snapchat username. I said “no thank you”, and he was like “ah well🤷‍♂️”. Imo it’s totally strange to try to pick up young girls while you have your young (presumably) son with you, but idk, shit got worse.

At this point I realized he wasn’t some overwhelmed dad that was grateful for my patience and help. Maybe he was at one point, but now he was a predator that chose to flirt with a young woman who showed him a little kindness. Once again, the kindness of a woman had been mistaken for flirting, and it made me feel fucking exhausted.

He then looked like he was looking for something, and emptied his pockets out on the little table. He pulled out a condom and looked “fake embarrassed” at me and said “you never know”. I ignored him. He then tried to hand me the condom, I told him no. He then gestured to the toilet in a “you wanna go?” way, and I said clearly no. He seemed to think this was funny, and threw the (thankfully still in its wrapper) condom at me. He was no longer trying to flirt with me, he was now straight up asking me to to fuck him. My niceness was apparently a signal to him that I wanted to have sex with him on a public toilet.

All this was happening in front of his son, whose mess I was trying to clean up because I’m a fucking woman and I can’t seem to stop taking responsibility for everything - even take responsibility for the kid of a man who’s actively sexually harassing me.

Anyway, we’re near my stop but I get up from my seat earlier than normal, so I could get off the train fast and get away from the creep. It’s very crowded, so I lose sight of the guy.

The train stops, I get off as quickly as I can and power walk to my bus stop. Big surprise, the creep is following me. Usually I’m not paranoid, but I know he was following because I walked past the same bus stops 3-4 times and took a big de-route. I took a last minute decision and ran over to a different bus stop and hopped on, thankfully he didn’t get on.

This experience was horrible, but what made it downright scary happened a week ago. I open my Facebook and see a friend request from the guy. I never gave him my real name, Anna is a super common name, and my real name isn’t super common. My name isn’t printed anywhere on my clothes/bags/phone case etc… it was awful. My only theory is that he was creeping right behind me somehow before the train stopped. I was quickly logging into my bank app, which showed my name priestly while verifying my Face ID. It’s the only way he could’ve known my name really.

I’m so fucking tired and frustrated. I should have been rude, cold and not engage with him a single bit. But then again, I should be able to be nice and helpful to men (A STRUGGLING DAD EVEN!!!) without them thinking I want to fuck them. Unfortunately, it seems like that’s not a possibility. I’ll never be nice to random men again. What a disappointment.