This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Key-Nowhere on 2023-07-30 22:24:53.
This is a vent after I’ve lurking here for a bit.
I’ve (F31) been with my boyfriend (M33) for about 3 years. We moved in together after a year of dating and then bought a house together. Essentially by months 18-24 I realized we don’t really act like a couple.
I know there are many ways to be in a relationship, but ideally my partner and I would do a lot of stuff together - share some (not all) hobbies, cook/clean together, plan vacations together. I realized my boyfriend and I occasionally eat meals together that I’ve bought and prepped…but we don’t really don’t spend time quality together unless I ask and plan.
I’ve brought specifics up to him. I told him I’d like to watch more movies together, cook and shop together, go hiking or to concerts together. He took me out for dinner as a result, but then we went back into doing our own things with 90% of our free time.
Sex isn’t even really on the table unless I initiate…and that’s after a long day of work, cooking, dishes, taking the dog out, making sure bills are paid, etc. It’s just one more thing on the list of things.
Basically I’m getting a subsidized mortgage in exchange for sharing space with someone, but we have an awkward layer of weirdness because we’re “a couple” supposedly. I mostly shop and cook for myself, make my own plans and do my own laundry.
I do chores and the things I want to do by myself, he does whatever he wants to do by himself. Chores are done, again, if I ask.
All I know is I feel like unappreciated and like I might as well be single and live by myself. If only I could afford to do so. I know I’m not alone in this but I feel alone.