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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/vathaveidone on 2023-07-30 14:59:44.
My (40M) wife’s (35F) parents live five minutes away from us. For half the year they go to Florida, but for the rest of the year they are here. My MIL is very social and invites us to their house for dinner almost every Sunday night. We get there at 5 and stay until at least 9 because there is also a movie or Netflix show.
This has caused substantial friction in my marriage. I’m an introvert and have a stressful job. I live for the weekend, and don’t enjoy most of my Sundays being dominated by family time. For me, Sunday nights are about relaxing and mentally preparing for the week ahead. It’s not that I don’t get along with my in-laws, but the frequency is too much.
To make matters more complicated, my MIL is recovering from bowel cancer, so I feel like I’m being extra selfish and terrible for stressing out my wife and potentially impacting her time with her mom due to my selfishness. We also have our first kid on the way, so I know I probably need to get used to even more family time.
I feel like a bad person, legitimately. Am I being an asshole? Would it be weird for me to occasionally say I don’t want to go and let my wife go alone? I’ve considered it but have never had the guts to do so. I always think it would be obvious I’m just a selfish jerk who doesn’t want family time.
Maybe I just need more people to tell me I’m in the wrong.
Edit: just want to say wish I could upvote everyone. This community gives me faith in people.