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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Vivid-Appearance3407 on 2023-07-30 03:04:33.
I (25F) threw a birthday party and invited all of my friends, one them my close friend Rachel about a month in advance. Rachel confirmed she was excited to be attending and confirmed again the day before that she was still coming to celebrate my 25th.
The celebration started at 7pm and almost everyone is here after an hour except Rachel, who said she was running late, no worries. Around 9 when we are about to cut the cake, she shows up at the door, I hug her and give her a suprise birthday gift for her (her birthday was a week prior and she went out of town) and say how excited I was she made it. I was a bit stunned since she was in high heels, club outfit, full makeup on.
She hands me a bouquet of flowers, says happy birthday, and then says she won’t be actually joining since there’s an event at the club a few blocks down she wanted to check out. Also her ex was in town and she said she wanted to club with him. Everyone inside (we all know each other one way or another) was kinda thrown off by this, as she didn’t even step in to say hi to anyone else and left after the brief exchange.
I brushed it off in the moment but was hurt so I confronted her in the morning. I found out the club event didn’t even open doors until 11pm and checked her location (we share) that she didn’t leave her apartment until 11, with a few insta stories of her pregaming with her friends in her apt around 10:30. We live 5 minutes away from each other and the club is a few blocks down so it’s not like she had some huge commute to rush to.
I told her about how hurt I was and why she couldn’t even step in for 30 minutes considering the party started at 7pm and her “excuse” for not attending didn’t even start until 10:30-11pm. I wouldn’t mind at all if she gave me a heads up that her plans changed instead of making things awkward in front of all my guests, but she literally confirmed she was attending the day before. She just brushed off my concerns and said that people have different priorities, and how I should appreciate her gesture to stop by to drop off flowers.
After this I told her clearly we aren’t as close as I thought and distanced myself from her. She reaches out and wants to make up but is adamant she did nothing wrong. A few mutual friends think I overreacted and it was a thoughtful gesture but others think she was selfish and inconsiderate of an important event of a close friend.
AITA?