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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GoatRevolutionary221 on 2023-07-30 01:39:22.
My wife (35f) and I (35m) just had our third child one month ago (4 weeks). For the first week or two my wife had to wake him up every couple hours to feed him but now we just let him sleep until he wakes up to eat.
Here’s where that becomes a problem: I am a REALLY heavy sleeper. There is nothing that can wake me up short of being attacked by a bear or shaken or something. It’s been that way since way before my wife and I had kids. Babies crying or screaming do not wake me up. They didn’t even when we had our first (8m) so usually I’ve woken up when my wife turns on the lights for changing and stuff like that. Apparently I sleep through A LOT when my wife is getting up a lot, so she is saying she does an “unfair amount” of work at night because of it. I feel bad because I recognize that if I’m asleep I’m not contributing to the night stuff. So I asked my wife to wake me up when the baby wakes up, and she told me that made it so much worse and that it was like “weaponized incompetence.” She just doesn’t want to wake me up for some reason. I am not WEAPONIZING my heavy sleep against her, I just want her to wake me up so I can help. But like I said, she said that makes it worse, and now she’s mad.
AITA for asking to wake me up so I can help with the night stuff for our newborn?