This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Key_Range_93 on 2023-07-29 13:35:39.
My (F32) parents (F64 and M64) are quite well off financially. My husband (Sam M38), on the other hand, doesn’t make too much money. While my parents have never said anything explicitly about this, my husband has always felt that they’ve looked down upon him.
For the past few months, my husband has been telling me that my parents try to make us feel poor whenever we visit them or they come by. At first, I told him that I didn’t think this as they were polite with him, but he has told me that their politeness comes off as condescending, and he wasn’t comfortable around them, especially my dad.
This has gotten to the point where, last week, my dad announced that he wanted to come visit us in a few days. When Sam heard this from me, he said that he would plan a three-day trip with his friends during this time so he didn’t have to put up with him.
My dad came by to visit me (alone since Sam had left the day before). Things went by pretty normally until he tried to take a seat on our sofa.
Our sofa is a little broken, and it sinks very quickly on one side when someone sits on it. This happened when my dad took a seat. He brought it up and mentioned how we should probably get it replaced.
I said that we planned to downline after we’ve saved up a bit, and he mentioned that he could get us one now. When I was reluctant, he mentioned how it would be a gift as he hasn’t seen us in a while and how he didn’t want us to have a broken sofa.
During this point, I started to think of what Sam was saying, and I forcefully rejected my Dad’s offer. I told him that he was being rude for thinking that we can’t afford to get a sofa and how his spending is done with the intention of trying to make us feel poor.
My Dad was surprised by this and said that it wasn’t his intention at all to make me or Sam feel bad, and he also said that he was stunned we felt this way. He then pressed again with his offering, saying things like: that there was nothing wrong with accepting it, as I am his daughter and Sam is his son-in-law, and how family helps each other.
I was annoyed by this, so I asked him to leave. My dad became furious with this and said that I was acting extremely strangely and disrespectful. He then said that it was bizarre of us to interpret his offer in such a way.
I just asked him to leave again at this point, and he did. As he was exiting, he said that he wouldn’t be coming back as he didn’t need to be treated this way. He also mentioned that he was very disappointed that I would think he would have “such malicious intentions.” I told him that his behavior brought this and locked the door.
I told Sam about this later, and he was quite happy with how I handled the situation. He agrees that my dad overstepped boundaries and thinks that he should respect our space.
I did feel a little bad with how I spoke with my dad, but on the other hand, I think he deserved it.
AITA?