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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Professional_Part265 on 2023-07-29 04:50:30.

I (31f) put my boyfriends (36m) elderly cat (Sox) down on Monday and he has refused to forgive me.

Background information: My boyfriend got Sox after graduating college so he was about a 15/16.

I started dating my boyfriend around 7 years ago. He loved his cat dearly but whenever I visited it was clear he was pretty relaxed with daily care. Liter box was constantly disgusting and changed maybe once every few weeks. Sox was left out a whole bag of kibble to eat on and often it would go stale with ants and Sox would refused to eat.

We ended up getting a place together and immediately Sox became my responsibility. Liter box, feeding, vet visits. 99% me

I became pregnant back in March and could no longer clean Sox’s liter box. My boyfriend did for maybe 3 weeks but then he stopped. I ended up hiring my 11-year-old nephew to help.

On July 5th we woke up to find Sox VERY sick. He had been vomiting more than usual for the past few days and had an accident in our office. He was sleeping and would not wake up. We rushed him to the emergency vet where he was diagnosed with late stage heart failure. We were then given the option to put him down now then or treat him. My boyfriend chose to treat him. He was given an ACE inhibitors and fluids and stayed in the emergency vet for 4 days before being released. Surgery was not an option.

Since picking up Sox he had been a miserable, sickly cat. Our vet gave us pills to manage his pain that has him sleeping all day, constantly drooling, not eating and nonstop accidents.

Two weeks ago I told my boyfriend that Sox really needed to be put down because his quality of life was so low. It was physically painful for me to see him so sick. I was still providing all care as my boyfriend avoided him altogether because it was too upsetting.

He said he didn’t want to put him down at the vets but would take him to his dads to put him down “the old fashion way”. I said fine, do what you need to do. He kept putting it off and putting it off.

It became very clear this cat was dying and dying slowly and I couldn’t take it. On Friday I told my boyfriend Sox needed to be put down this weekend or I was taking him in Monday. He got upset and left without Sox. So I set up an appointment for Monday and texted my boyfriend the time. No response.

I took off work Monday morning. Called my boyfriend again and told him the appointment time. No response.

I gave Sox his last meal, an extra large dose of pain meds and drove him to the vet where he peacefully passed away with by his side. I texted my boyfriend he had died and immediately got an angry call.

He said a lot of terribly hurtful things. I was hurt and crying but knew he was speaking from grief so let him say what needed to be said

My boyfriend returned Tuesday night and has refused to talk to me.

In my heart, I know I did the right thing by Sox. But I think I did the wrong thing by my boyfriend and I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me.

Am I the asshole?