This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/KnocDown on 2023-07-29 00:50:57.
The title is a lot worse than it sounds.
For background, we both have joint and separate bank accounts. We also have joint and separate cards tied to those accounts. I have given my wife a card on my separate account and she has given me a card on hers. The joint account is used for the house expenditures, utilities, groceries and our children. We each pay for extras like vacations and eating out from our personal accounts. I don’t question her purchases and she doesn’t question mine. Money isn’t an issue. She has even made purchases on my account in the past specifically for the kids without even telling me until after. I had no problem with any of this.
When she told me she was going on a girls trip this weekend some time last month I had no problem with it. It was one weekend with the kids and I easily adjusted my schedule accordingly. I wasn’t concerned until she told me her cousin going. I have a huge problem with this because she is a bad influence and also a freeloader who uses family to subsidize her lifestyle. Our money somehow is always going to this girl and no matter how many times I have addressed it with my wife it hasn’t stopped. It’s family so I try to not push it even though my wife is being used
Fast forward to this morning and I see my wife charged over $200 to my credit card for dinner last night. Ok, I’m sure there is a reason why she used my card specifically and not our joint card or hers. I sent a text asking if everything was ok but didn’t get a response. She didn’t mention it to me last night and it seems very out of character. I didn’t know how to bring it up in a text message but it kept bothering me. I kept thinking about more of my money going to her cousin
By noon I still had not received a response so after considering my options and I decided to do something. Worst case the card was stolen so I contacted my bank. I verified there were no other charges pending and confirmed my wife’s card was physically scanned. I then requested she be removed as an authorized user from my account and to deactivate the card immediately. I did not dispute the charge. She still has her cards and our joint card so I did not leave her stranded.
I got a text message from my wife an hour later saying everything was fine and asking about the kids. I responded and neither of us mentioned the dinner charge. I’m waiting for her to bring it up first or find out the card is deactivated.
I’m wondering if I overeacted , AITA?