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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Separate-Anywhere138 on 2023-07-28 18:16:58.
My boyfriend (M25) and I (F26) have been together for a year and a half. His parents are divorced and his mom recently moved back from CA because she was able to leach off relatives for a few years and left her 3 kids behind. His mom will ask him to Venmo her for non-essentials like alcohol and weed (my boyfriend doesn’t even smoke) and will make him pick up the weed for her (it’s illegal in this state). She’s an alcoholic and showed up to his birthday dinner at a very nice restaurant plastered. Embarrassed us all. She held a service job for a month and quit because she didn’t like her coworkers. She has yet to find or look for a new job for over 6 months. She’s currently living off the 40K that she received in the divorce settlement and we all know 40K runs out QUICK.
The other day, my boyfriend told me he wanted to build a home alongside ours for his mother to live in and provide her at-home care. I told him I would end the relationship because I don’t want to deal with that stress or be responsible for her, and I certainly don’t want my future kids to be around her all the time. She has the mouth of sailor and drinks from morning to night. AITA for giving him the ultimatum that she CANNOT live with us someday and he should not be giving her money for non-essential vices? He feels responsible for her since he’s the “oldest son.”
Just to be clear: if she made a decent effort to get a job and support herself and still couldn’t put food on her table or pay rent, then by all means I’d be willing to help her.
Thank you in advance!