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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Responsible_Tap_7083 on 2023-07-28 16:33:49.
So I saw a post from a woman there who wanted to break things off with a guy she was dating because it appeared to her he had a porn addiction.
In the post she also mentioned she used to be a Dominatrix for a bit and because of that, people in the comments (I assume men as they make up the majority of the users on that sub it appears) said that she was being unreasonable for not accommodating his “kink” for porn because she “of all people” needed to be more accepting due to her past.
I find thar ridiculous. Sure, her dating pool is smaller if she wants to avoid guys who watch porn, but that’s her call to make and it’s perfectly valid. Many said she was being very extreme with her requirements overall about sexuality, but one thing actually really resonated with me where I would also be very turned off if a guy I was seeing was like that.
She mentioned how he’d often talk about hot women on tv or in music videos etc. and that he turned on porn when they were gonna have sex. That made her feel like she was competing with women in media and she wasn’t having that.
And honestly I find that fully reasonable, also as someone who used to do online sex work for a bit. It’s fine for my partner to acknowledge ither women looking attractive, but to talk about it so much and want to look at other women while we have sex to me personally is a deal breaker as I’m also very loyal and focused with a partner and would wish for the same in return.
I think that’s fully reasonable regardless of my past with sex work.
EDIT: Jesus! I just saw another post from that sub on my frontpage from a woman in a long distance relationship who fell asleep during face timing and woke up to him jerking off watching her sleep. She felt violated, started checking online if he has any records with sex crimes and felt grossed out to the point where she didn’t wanna talk to him anymore. And the comments tell her she’s overreacting?! Like wtf?! Yea that was a hella creepy thing to do that she never consented to. And if she has any past with sexual assault etc. it’s not at all unusual that he’d check his record on that. Like how is this overreacting?!