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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Least_Elk_9532 on 2023-07-28 12:08:37.

I’m 20/f, my mom is 43. Growing up, I’d always see my mom as my greatest inspiration physically and mentally, just her as a person. People would always comment about how it was odd I wasn’t as beautiful as her. Even family members would say things like “one day you might be as gorgeous as your mom” while I was a teenager.

However, since I’ve became an adult, I’ve begun to look more like her, but ironically this has actually driven a wedge between us.

Today I had to comfort her because she said she went to the gym and cried in the car because she compared herself to a young woman that “looked like me “ (her words). I told her that me and her are TWO DECADES apart in age, of course she wouldn’t look like I do (wtf?) and I could only hope to be as beautiful as she is in her age now (which is still young imo). This is like the 9th time this has happened in the past year too. She’ll even randomly comment about how I look better than she ever did.

She then went on about how overweight she is, how short her hair is in comparison to mine, etc. I tried my best but it’s really getting ridiculous at this point. And my father makes it no better by saying how he remembers how my mom used to look like me and he wishes she was still either my size or shape. She even avoids going out with me because she says she looks ugly next to me . Mind you these are places like the grocery store or a restaurant .

Anyway, now I am starting to feel guilty. I love my mom to death but I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s like I feel guilty for becoming a woman , and I’m starting to feel like we’re in competition. I never valued beauty much because for most of my life it’s a privilege I simply did not have, so this sudden extreme concern is uncomfortable. My mom is my strongest support system and I feel it fading away. Help?