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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Pollaski on 2024-07-23 15:19:38+00:00.
The Tank Job of the Week is an award for the FBS team that did the best job of humiliating itself over the weekend. Whether they blew a large lead, choked away a spot in the limelight, lost a game they had absolutely no right losing, or completely screwed everything on a last second blunder, the TJOTW winner sets the gold standard in college football misery. Over the next seven weeks, we are counting down my 100 greatest tank jobs over the last 20 years. WARNING: You will be hurt.
(video links and a link to the entire list in comments)
76: OHIO STATE BUCKEYES (lost to Virginia Tech 35-21) [2014]
With just eleven days to go before the start of the 2014 season, the Buckeye faithful received devastating news- starting quarterback Braxton Miller would be out for the season after reinjuring his shoulder in practice, and redshirt freshman J.T. Barrett would be taking the helm in his stead. This meant that the Buckeyes would only be returning just three starters from the previous years’ 12-2 team, and have to rely on a defense anchored by future NFL monster Joey Bosa. Questions abounded after their opening week game- a 34-17 win over Navy where the Buckeyes struggled to put the Middies away until very late. The shaky result, along with general questions surrounding the quarterback situation caused Ohio State to drop from 5th to 8th in the polls as they prepared for their home opener against the eleven-point dog Hokies.
After throwing an interception on their opening drive, VT got their offense in order led 14-7 after the first quarter. Ohio State opened the second period by missing two field goals, and then the offense really started to struggle- Barrett would be just 9 for 29 in passing this game, and both teams were sloppy giving up three turnovers. Virginia Tech would add another touchdown to take a 21-7 lead into the second half. Ohio State finally broke through in towards the end of the third quarter with Barrett flinging a 53- yard touchdown pass, and early in the fourth VT quarterback Michael Brewer would be hunted down by Bosa, coughing up the ball on his own 15 and setting up the tying touchdown. But Virginia Tech responded again, and took a 28-21 lead with eight minutes to go.
It was here where Ohio State’s offense fell apart. A brutal sack forced a quick three and out, and then on their next drive, Barrett was sacked again, and immediately threw an interception to set up Tech in FG range, only for the Hokies to miss and keep the Buckeyes alive. Ohio State finally got it together and mounted a drive that got to the Hokie 42, but on second down Barrett would be sacked again, setting up 3rd and 16. Ohio State called a timeout to preserve clock, collected themselves- and then Barrett threw a pass right into Donovan Riley’s arms, who scampered 63 yards to ice the game and complete the shocker.
Ohio State plunged to 22nd in the polls, and their national hopes were thought dead in the water, particularly when Virginia Tech self-destructed the following week, going down 21-0 in the first quarter to East Carolina and coming up short in the comeback, then lose to Georgia Tech the next week en route to a 6-6 season. But Barrett found his footing with the Buckeye offense the next week in a 66-0 slaughter of Kent State, and the Buckeyes tore through the remainder of their schedule, scoring at least 30 points every game- and at least 40 in all but two. They obliterated Wisconsin in the Big Ten Championship 59-0, and were controversially selected over Baylor and TCU to be the final team in the first college football playoff. Despite the loss of Barrett to injury and going with third-stringer Cardale Jones, the Buckeyes stunned top-ranked Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, then overpowered Oregon 42-20 to win their eighth national championship.
So its hard to place this one as far as Tank Jobs go. It certainly was a shocking upset, particularly considering where both teams ended up on the year. But it’s also one of the least consequential tank jobs in history, and merely became a speedbump on Ohio State’s inevitable run of supremacy.
75: CALIFORNIA GOLDEN BEARS (lost to TCU 10-7) [2018]
It shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that the fandoms of college football and professional wrestling have a significant overlap. Sure, college football isn’t scripted (coughSECrefscough), but they share so many similar qualities- the promotion, the pageantry, the rivalries and feuds, even the babyface/heel dynamic to an extent. And the entrances- the opening riff of “Enter Sandman” will set any Virginia Tech fan off just as much as hearing glass shatter did for any Stone Cold Steve Austin mark. Heck, some of wrestling’s greatest figures got their start in college football- the Rock played for Miami, Goldberg for Colorado, Roman Reigns for Georgia Tech. And if you think about it, the season is almost structured like a PPV cycle. You have your weekly events, all building up to a giant supercard at the end. Sure, college football’s WrestleMania lasts about three weeks and has way more matches and locations than your average WWE Premium Live Event, but both are booked by matchmakers hoping for compelling contests building up to the blockbuster main events.
College football and wrestling fans even approach results the same way given the subjective pecking order nature of the sports- how much did that win help them? Did the loss hurt that badly? Sure, they won, but they didn’t look great, does that hurt them? How come the ref didn’t see the linebacker being hit by the chair (okay, not really on that one). The thing is, sometimes a match can be so amazing, so compelling, that all that almost seems to melt away- sure, both wrestlers are ostensibly attempting to win, but that’s almost become secondary. The beauty lies in the art, the dance. Sure, a violent dance that occasionally involves pieces of furniture, but a dance nonetheless. College football can become that way too- but sometimes when the game becomes secondary to the performative spectacle, its because it’s become the exact opposite of a five-star classic.
And make no mistake- the 2018 Cheez-It Bowl was performance art far more than it was an athletic competition. Sure, both teams were in theory trying to win, but that became lost in the spectacle of what was truly going on. Even better, it wasn’t some super-hyped NY6 Bowl or playoff game that turned into what this was, but a relatively mundane Boxing Day contest between 7-5 Cal and 6-6 TCU. Due to injuries and what not, both teams were starting quarterbacks who had stayed their entire college careers at the same school despite never starting a game. And boy did we see why.
The first interception came ten minutes into the game, and it set up a quick Cal touchdown. But the real show would be what started three minutes later after a TCU punt- FOUR consecutive drives ending in interceptions. Hilariously, two of TCU’s interceptions would even come on illegal passes- one a double forward pass, the other a pass from beyond the line of scrimmage. Cal would toss one more interception at halftime, bringing the games total to six. They would change their quarterback… TCU would not. So of course TCU’s first drive of the second half resulted in pick number seven. After tha the game settled down, with both teams just exchanging punts, save for one drive at the end of the third quarter where TCU found the end zone to tie the score.
Interception number eight would come about halfway through the fourth quarter, and giving TCU an opportunity, but they would get downed out. Cal immediately punted it back with 2:15 to go, and TCU embarked on another drive with a last ditch attempt to confine this travesty to the allotted sixty minutes. They got to the Cal 27, and lined up for the winning field goal. Cal tried to ice the kicker, but TCU had a plan- they would CHANGE KICKERS. Cal was left speechless at how they’d been foiled!
Of course TCU missed and sent this to overtime. It deserved it.
Cal got the ball first and, you guessed it- threw their fifth pick of the game and ninth total, making this the most interception filled bowl game since 1982. And this time, TCU defender Jawuan Johnson went for the win, scampering down the sideline before being run out at the 5, just barely saving the game. But TCU was still rejoicing, for they now had the ball at the 25 with a chance to win the game again.
Except there was a flag on the field. Apparently during the interception the TCU SID got so excited he kinda got on the field and kinda knocked over a yardage marker and kinda interfered with a ref and that’s kinda a fifteen yarder. So TCU set up shop on the forty, lined up, and QB Grayson Muehistein, in defiance of gods and men, dropped back to pass. Sure it was a four yard completion but at this point why are you even tempting anything? Apparently Gary Patterson thought that too because TCU went full running game for the remainder of the drive, got to the 10, then sent in original kicker Jonathan Song to kick a 27 yarder to win. Cal tried to ice him, but this time TCU kept him on the field and he nailed the kick. It was over. By God, it was finally over.
The game would become affectionately known as the Cheez-Int bowl, And sure, Cal gets the nod as being the official losers of this …
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