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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Pollaski on 2024-07-21 15:10:03+00:00.
The Tank Job of the Week is an award for the FBS team that did the best job of humiliating itself over the weekend. Whether they blew a large lead, choked away a spot in the limelight, lost a game they had absolutely no right losing, or completely screwed everything on a last second blunder, the TJOTW winner sets the gold standard in college football misery. Over the next seven weeks, we are counting down my 100 greatest tank jobs over the last 20 years. WARNING: You will be hurt.
Twenty down, eighty to go!
(video links and a link to the entire list in comments)
80: PENN STATE NITTANY LIONS (lost to Iowa 6-4) [2004]
Fun Fact/Disclaimer: This is the one game on this list that actually predates the Tank Job of the Week Award, as I didn’t start it until a couple of weeks later.
Besides TJOTW, I run a second weekly feature during the CFB season called the WACBall threshold. A nod to the great days of Saturday night free-for-alls in the Western Athletic Conference, the WACBall Threshold averages the total combined offensive yards and points scored in a game. A 1.000- representing 100 combined points and 1,000 combined offensive yards, is the threshold. But what has been equally fascinating is the games that have “lacked the WAC”, were such dearths offensively that they were borderline criminal. Anything less than a .400 can be looked at as a truly offense-deprived game. This game scores a shocking .208- 10 points and just 315 yards combined. Sometimes a game is just so wretched the loser gets TJOTW honors simply for being a part of it.
Penn State was already backsiding into this game, having lost their last three in a row, all to ranked teams. They sported one of the best defenses in the country, led by future All-Americans Dan Connor and Paul Posulszny, as well as future six-time Pro Bowler Tamba Hali. But their offense was a black hole, averaging just 7.5 points per game against the four power conference teams they had already played. But was Homecoming and over 108,000 souls had packed into Beaver Stadium in hopes of watching the Lions turn it around against the 25th ranked Hawkeyes.
And Penn State would get first blood, as the Hawkeyes botched a punt snap for a safety. Hope swelled even further when a big punt return set Penn State up at the Iowa 24. But the Lions would lose 9 yards on the drive, and then miss a 51-yard field goal. Iowa responded with a field goal of their own, going up 3-2. Iowa would score again after an interception was returned to the Penn State 10, but PSU would again manage to just hold them to a field goal, and head to the half up 6-2.
The teams would mostly trade punts in the third quarter, but an Iowa fumble would set Penn State up at midfield. They would get down to the Iowa 9 before throwing an interception. From here, Penn State’s defense would step up and push Iowa back to their own goal line. Facing a 4th and 17, Iowa simply took an intentional safety, preserving their lead at 6-4 with 8:11 left to go in the game. You read that right- with over eight minutes to go, the Hawkeyes willingly gave up enough points so that Penn State could win with a field goal, because the offenses had been so bad that was clearly the best option.
And it worked- Penn State failed to respond. Actually, that phrase doesn’t do this justice- Penn State didn’t gain a single offensive yard over the last eleven minutes of this game. Their first play after the safety was an interception, then after a five minute Hawkeye drive that ended in a punt touchback, their next drive started with a seven yard sack that was immediately followed by a fumble, Penn State’s fifth turnover of the afternoon. From there, Iowa ran off the last 2:30 of the clock and escaped Beaver Stadium with a 6-4 win. They would end up winning out, finishing the season off with a spectacular Hail Mary to beat LSU in the Citrus Bowl to finish 10-2 and ranked 8th. As a side note- Brian Ferentz was an offensive lineman for this team, so go ahead and consider this game his villain origin story.
As for Penn State, they would lose their next two as well, before somehow finding enough of an offense to beat Indiana and Michigan State to close the season at 4-7. Despite the offensive woes, first year OC Galen Hall would be retained, a move that turned out to be the correct call when PSU’s offense improved dramatically and the Nittany Lions went 11-1 in 2005.
But hey, at least both teams managed to score twice. Could you imagine what a disaster it’d be if they only scored once?
79: MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS (lost to Auburn 3-2) [2008]
Auburn fired offensive coordinator Al Borges at the end of the 2007 regular season. While Borges had a large part in Auburn’s 14-0 season in 2004, diminishing returns had convinced coach Tommy Tuberville that it was time for a change. Borges was replaced with Troy OC Tony Franklin, who took over before the Peach Bowl against Clemson and legendarily managed to effectively install his spread offense in just eight practices, leading to over 400 yards of offense and a 23-20 Auburn victory. Needless to say, expectations were high going in to 2008, with Auburn starting the season ranked 10th.
Expectations were high in Starkville too. After a trio of 3-8 seasons, Sylvester Croom’s squad finally had broken through, going 8-5 and netting Mississippi State’s first bowl berth in seven years. They weren’t expected to contend, or even were ranked to start the year, but hopes of a second straight winning season were on the table. Those hopes faded considerably after an opening week loss to Louisiana Tech, but the cowbells were still ringing when the Tigers rolled into Starkville for this Week 3 matchup.
The first nine drives resulted in punts- four of them three and outs. Finally, well into the second quarter, Auburn managed to put together a decent enough drive to break into the State red zone and kick a field goal for their only points of the game. Another three drives ended in punts, and Auburn drove again, but this time missed a field goal just before halftime. The Cowbell faithful who stuck around past halftime were given a ray of hope- an Auburn fumble to start the second half… but State promptly missed a field goal. Auburn set Miss State up again when their next punt (the thirteenth of the game if you’re counting) only went 17 yards, giving the Bulldogs the ball in Tiger territory, but State turned the ball over on downs. Auburn missed another field goal (on the longest drive of the day at 58 yards!).
Another five punts (eighteen!), but the last one of this bunch was a beauty that cornered Auburn at their own three. One holding penalty in the end zone later, and the score1 was 3-2, and the free kick gave them the ball at midfield with a chance to do something. They went for it on fourth and ended up a yard short. But Auburn fumbled the ball right back. State lost five yards in four plays and got downed out for the third time this game. But Auburn fumbled AGAIN, setting the Bulldogs up at their own 34 with 2:28 to play.
So of course they threw an interception on the first play. Auburn ran out the last 2:19, mercifully putting an end to this trainwreck. State finished with a wretched 116 yards and just six first downs. They had one drive cross midfield- and it was in reverse because they lost yards after starting in Auburn territory. Auburn moved the ball better- 315 yards, but coughed up three turnovers.
Tony Franklin wouldn’t even make it to the halfway point, and he was shown the door after just six games as OC. Auburn would finish the season at just 5-7. State wouldn’t fare any better, going 4-8 and costing Sylvester Croom his job just one year after being named SEC’s coach of the year.
TOMORROW: Desert voodoo strikes… or was it just #karma? And the Kick Six comes a year early (kinda).