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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/throwawayaccount2911 on 2023-07-27 19:22:05.
I dated this guy who was literally a selfish man with high ego, porn addiction and anger management issues. I paid for him, fed him and he dumped me after a 4 year relationship. Because before him I dated a narcissist and my parents always told me this dude is a perfect man for me, I tried to mould him into prince charming. When he dumped me, he said he is relieved, and finally has time for friends - I broke down completely. Ended up on therapy. Months of crying and trying to figure myself out resulted in me completely changing my mindset. I stopped being in touch with parents, found a perfect man- a complete opposite my ex…. aaaaand then one day I had this thought - I want to call my ex and thank him. I became grateful, in a way, that he caused me so much pain which led me eventually to my real prince charming and wanted to see if he changed (which he claimed, as he was leaving me). On the call he apologised for being mean as we broke up, but overall, he was so full of himself & as if he was doing me a huge favor to be talking to me. He said he is single and struggling to find a decent gf, and started venting about his struggles and how he is now a mature changed man, zero porn etc
And there I was - I thought I was well aware that he is a complete ass, but a part of me wanted to see if he really changed? I wanted to show him the progress I’ve made? To see him fight for me? To make him feel regret about letting me go?
I thought this situation is behind me, and I can’t understand why it’s clearly not?
Why did I want be loveable by someone incapable of selfless love, and why am I struggling still with his indifference, if I’m in a happy relationship now?