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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Aeon-Aire on 2023-07-27 13:01:45.
I (22F) had this acquaintance (22F) that I know through work and we became work friends and we also attend the same university and have mutual friends there.
Her birthday is coming up and she invited me and those mutual friends to a dinner. I was actually excited to go and have a great time because I had just gotten an apartment (super stressful process) and also I was so buried in work and school that I didn’t really have time to go out all the entire semester.
She initially sends the invite with all the details and so I RSVP’d. The next day she sends out a message saying “Hey guys, I forgot to mention this on the invite, but I do not want any alcohol or substance use going on and also, please don’t order any meals with pork or chicken, I would like to keep the table in a pescatarian vibe, the restaurant has plenty of delicious options”.
I was planning in partaking in ABSOLUTELY ALL the shit she said not to. I was going order a drink, maybe take an edible for a lil buzz, and didn’t necessarily want to be restricted to just seafood when going out because it’s a chance I could accidentally consume shellfish and i’m allergic (it’s happened before and being punctured with an epi pen on my one night out in months didn’t sound particularly fun to me).
As I mentioned before, we are really just work friends and I didn’t actually deep facts about her like that (like beliefs, super personal details, etc) because we don’t tend to talk about that sort of stuff in the workplace.
I waited until work the next day to tell her she can cancel my RSVP to her party. When I told her, ofc she asked why. We would likely never hang out due to me trying to respect her lifestyle that I do not live. So I said “thank you for inviting me but it’s certain things I like to partake in when going out, and out of respect for you and your boundaries, I just want to politely decline my invite but I would love to still get you a gift for your birthday of course”
She took offense and said that the reason is because her mother was very abusive to her when intoxicated from alcohol and drugs and did some horrible things to her. Then she found solace in her religion after that and said religion doesn’t really allow for meat consumption (I have no clue which religion this is but if someone could let me know please I would love to learn more about it).
AITA for going back on my RSVP?