This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/UnspecifiedBat on 2023-07-27 13:28:29.
So, my partner is the wholesomeness in person, he would never pressure me into sex or do something I don’t want to do.
What he _does_ pressure me into however is letting him do _everything_ for me. And I don’t want that.
His love language is clearly acts of service, always was and he would move heaven and hell for me.
The only problem is: He doesn’t stop if I ask him to.
So just today, I realised that I needed to switch electricity providers, as I am currently overpaying. So, how I usually do, I talked to him about this (because we talk about everything) and he said, he’d do it.
I told him no. I was doing that myself (We do not live together mind you!). He then proceeded to completely ignore my protest and told me I needed to go to the counter and read him the number it said. Again, I said no. He told me that it would only take a minute. I again said no.
He said he wouldve been done by now if I had just done it. I AGAIN said no, I don’t want this, I do not feel comfortable with this!!!
He didn’t do it, but now he’s all huffy and annoyed.
I stood my ground, but now _I_ feel like shit. He knows I have ADHD and sometimes have trouble doing things, but I am on meds now and doing much better and I can’t work on things, if he constantly takes them over, makes my problems into his and doesn’t let me do stuff _my way_
It’s not only annoying, it feels patronising, even though normally he treats me like a partner should, listens to my advice, asks me to proof read his emails, trusts my expertise and so on.
I don’t know how to feel about this, but I feel like my no should mean no, even if what he wants to do would benefit me and even if it’s to my detriment when I say no.
Because when he ignores it like that, I feel talked over, disrespected and quite frankly a little violated.
No should mean no in any circumstance, no?
Please help me out here. I’m really at my wits end.