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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Pale_Lake_224 on 2023-07-27 12:32:16.

So we’ve been talking for a while and it’s our 4th date and went to a restaurant for dinner. Then afterwards he said he needs my help with something at his place so we went to his place and I helped him out with that thing. Then we were sitting on the living room couch and he immediately started kissing me.

So we were making out and he started unbuttoning my pants and fingering me. Then he tried to take off my pants all the way and at that point I explicitly said I don’t want to have sex. He’s also aware from our prior conversations that I don’t have sex with guys I’m only dating and not in a relationship with. So I repeated that I can’t have sex with him a few times. But he kept fingering me and saying “let me have sex with you baby” and “please say yes” over and over again. And I said “can I suck you instead?” He said ok but after that he started pleading - again - to have sex with me non stop while touching me. At this point I was afraid of letting him down so I didn’t say yes to sex, but I said use a condom. He went and got the condom and didn’t ask anymore questions, just started inserting it.

After he came, I started crying. After sex. Like a loser. He got shocked and asked me why am I crying? I said I don’t know… and then he said he’s not going anywhere and it’s just sex, so don’t be dramatic about it. Then I was worried that I annoyed him and I started reassuring him instead, which looking back, seems completely contradicting. Then I started to put on my pants and he said not to because I’d be more comfortable without it. After a while he had sex with me again and at this point I was turned on and enjoying myself although I didn’t come and he did twice. When I got home, I felt so used and disgusted (with myself) and the worst part is, he said he’s not looking for anything serious but we should see each other more to see where it goes. I only have 1 other sexual partner who was my ex, but I didn’t expect my 2nd sexual partner to be with someone who I’m not in a relationship with.

Now I don’t know what to do… I feel like now that we’ve had sex, we should be dating but we don’t even have another date set and I feel so heartbroken. I can’t view this situation objectively. Was he correct, was I wrong, or was this more of a grey situation?

TLDR: I said no to sex but he kept asking so I said to use a condom. After that I feel used and disgusted because he’s not looking for anything serious.