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The original was posted on /r/soccer by /u/OilOfOlaz on 2024-03-26 01:43:57.

Over the past 18 month I’ve seen ppl talk about the return of “FC Hollywood” and to be frank, I was kinda annoyed by it at first, but then realized, that this shit happend almost 30 years ago and most ppl here - even many of those who followed BuLi back then - don’t remember or know most of it.

First of all, allow me to say, that this will be a bumpy ride, cuz english is not my first language and I’m writing this on the 5th day of being bored at home on fever medication.

Introduction

Bayern were tremendously successful in the 80s, but started slowly into the 90s, in 1991 & 1992 they lost important players like Kohler, Reuter, Augenthaler, Laudrupp and Effenberg, while their signings especially Oliver Kreuzer and Thomas Berthold wouldn’t live up to the expectations. Bayern won only one league title in 5 years and Borussia Dortmund established themselves as a worthy rival, winning the league in 94/95, after splashing money on players like Chapuisat, Sammer, Kalle Riedle, Andreas Möllerm, Reuter and later also Kohler.

Bayern were in a precarious situation, by their own standards and started making moves to improve the squad themselves, Mattäus returned from Inter, Scholl & Kahn were signed alongside half of Karlsruhes squad and in 95/96 they broke the bank and signed Klinsmann, Strunz, Sforza and Herzog, all exept Klinsmann were star players of Bundesliga clubs and Bayern had a star stutted squad, that still couldn’t win the league, so they signed Basler, Elber, Lizarazu, Jens Jeremies and bought Effenberg back. Not all of them would play together, since Klinsmann left only 2 years after joining, for example, but they are the protagonists of that era and the reason FC Hollywood came to be.

All of the above-mentioned guys had huge egos, a big mouth and they were headstrong as fuck, to put it lightly, most of them enjoyed life to the fullest and well, they were coached by Giovanni Trapattoni.

The Beginning

Trap had his first stint at Bayern in 94/95 and already coached some of the above-mentioned players, but left after only one season, due to language barrier. The second cornerstone of FC Hollywood arrived precisely that summer: Jürgen Klinsmann. After reviving his career in London he hoped to add some silverware in Munich, but it was a ticking time bomb since him and Mattäus - the other cornerstone - were at odds for years.

Most of the internal stuff was kept under the hood in 1995, since the media found their prime target in the new coach Otto Rehagel, even though Bayern had an underwhelming season in domestic competitions, they managed to win the UEFA Cup, their first international title in 2 decadse, with Beckenbauer taking over as the coach in the second half of the season.

The next season Trap returned and shit hit the fan.

FC Hollywood arrives

Internal clashes became public, players were seen at night in one of the most popular clubs in Munich (P1). Yellow press caught wind of players being drunk, misbehaving, smoking and being regulars there, so they sent jurnos every night and players delivered.

This put an even bigger magnifying glass on the squad, players were at odds with eachother and some media outlets/jurnos, while leaking information to others and especially talking shit about eachother, players who were caught by jurnos partying late at night allegedly provided stories about teammates, in order to avoid fines. All this disgusted Beckenbauer so much, that he - as president of the club, who had coached most of the very same players just month prior - called this squad a disgrace for the club live on TV.

All this gave birth to “FC Hollywood”, as a comparison to controversial Actors who were seen partying all night and had attitude issues on set and it was convenient, that the players starred in their own drama show, delivering over and over again.

The main plot of the show was the saga between Mattäus on one and Klinsmann on the other side. Mattäus hated Klinsmanns guts and leaked internal stuff about him from the get go, this was so obvious that Klinsmann and teammates nicknamed him “IM Lothar”, IM being short for “Inoffizieller Mitarbeiter” (unofficial collaborator) an abbreviation, used by the intelligence service of the GDR for ppl who voluntarily sniched on their peers. Klinsmann, Helmer and Sammer successfully berated Berti Vogts to keep Mattäus off the squad for the Euros 1996, cuz he would harm the team spirit and feed the press. Mattäus got wind of it and was mad. After he allegedly failed to convince Hoeneß to sell Klinsmann, he & bet with Hoeneß, that Klinsmann wouldn’t score 15 goals, losing 10.000DM, when Klinsmann scored his 15th goal in the last match of the season, in the 90th minute. Lothar also published his biograpy in the middle of then season, throwing shade at Klinsmann, calling him a egoistic coward, that is only greeding for money, this cost him the captains armband, since several players publicly supported Klinsmann. When Klinsmann left, he publicly stated, that he pities his former teammates, cuz they have to continue playing with Mattäus.

But Klinsmann leaving wasn’t the end of FC Hollywood, it was like a show that kept running despite losing one of its main protagonists and most of the side characters were still there, so it continued.

  • Liza slapped the shit out of Mattäus in trining.
  • Effenberg pinched Strunz wife, after being friends for years.
  • Basler and Scheuer were arrested for fighting randoms in a Pizza place at 3 in the night, while on rehab from an injury, Basler was suspended and sold the following transfer window.
  • Jeremies publicly called the state of the NT pathetic and refused to apologise or elaborate on it, Kahn backed him up claiming, that Ribbeck (NT coach) can’t afford to keep him off the team, if he wants to keep his job.
  • Kahn also tried to bite Heiko Herrlich in a heated match between Dortmund and Bayern.
  • Klinsmann kicked a Barrel and almost got stuck in it, hurting his ankle in the process, because he was substituted.
  • Scholl & Strunz were caught playing strip poker with girls on the training grounds.
  • Trap had his legendary speech, wich was percived as a spontaneous outburst, but later he admitted, that it was planned and that he invited some italian jurnos, cuz he was fed up with Scholl, Strunz and Basler.
  • Basler claimed that Uli hired a private investigator he paid out of his own pocket to get rid of him.
  • Rehagel was very lenient towards Basler, cuz he coached him in Bremen already, wich lead to Basler skipping the endurance training at the beginning of the sessions and Rehagel not giving a fuck about it, including one time, when Basler rode off on a bicicle in the middle of a session to drink beer.
  • Effenbergs “Freunde der Sonne” presser, telling jurnos that they have to be careful what they write.

This is actually only the stuff I can come up with on the spot, in the early 2000s shit toned down, Klinsmann, Mattäus, Basler, Strunz were gone, Scholl grew up and became a vital substitute

Those were the glory days of FC Hollywood, why they were called FC Hollywood and this is why underperforming and Tuchel beefing with pundits is not FC Hollywood. It was one of the most memorable squads in German sports history, with some of the most dazzling personalities German football ever had, doing the dumbest shit and still winning titles and making a CL final.