yeah that’s rough, I can imaging even more traumatizing with someone you had a relationship with. unfortunately no matter how much we might want a graceful resolution, when someone crosses boundaries like that there’s no “good” way to handle it—they have already forced you in a position where you are being hurt, trapped, or defenseless. there needs to be some level of consequence when boundaries are crossed like this, otherwise the same problems just get worse and worse over the years. i think the most important thing is to not internalize it as part of your identity. that’s not who you are at all, it was a reasonable decision you made quickly in a dangerous situation. even animals have boundaries and will lash back if you cross them, and unfortunately there’s a lot of people that won’t understand unless they really feel it