I’m bored at work so here’s a sequel and yes I want to see something like this happen lol:

Nic Cage is relaxing on a beach, gets a call from the top dog Nigerian Prince (Samuel L Jackson), apparently the Pakistani street gang is back and they’re aiming for a huge ransomware attack on the US Treasury in order to steal all the gold from Fort Knox.

Only North Korea has hackers skilled enough to decrypt such powerful ransomware, but in order to earn Kim Jong Un’s trust, he needs to acquire a wheel of the world’s most aged parmesan.

It’s in that artic vault full of seeds (“I suppose if you’re repopulating the Earth’s flora you’re gonna need a snack”). They spoof the IP at the seed storage so the Pakistani street gang thinks they finally found the gates to Fort Knox and opens it, at which point they discover that the street gang is actually Google (hence having all the Nigerian prince emails hitting the spam folder after Google robbed them).

Kim Jong Un gets the cheese, North Korean hackers decrypt all the US money, all of it, because it’s apparently one big file in plaintext (Samuel L Jackson: cackles and says “I’ve heard some shit in my day but you’re the dumbest motherfuckers I’ve ever met” Cage: “You’re just now realizing this?”).