I know the feeling. Most of those features are only useful in low probability events.

If you’re looking for simple flashlights, Maglight has always made decent flashlights, though I’ve been buying Ryobi flashlights for the last 15 years as they are relatively affordable and I’ve already a bunch of their 18v batteries. Not sure how weather proof they are but I’ve never had an issue with the “new” (I think it’s a 10 year old design) led flashlights.