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Then your issue isn’t with ENM. It’s with men (I should also note that this equally applies to women and nonbinary people, but we’ll ignore them for now) staying in an ENM relationship that they clearly do not want. Why are they staying in that relationship? It’s worth exploring that.

Is it loneliness? Is it dependency? Is it a fear of not being able to find another partner? These are issues that we don’t often explore and try to help in men.

I definitely am sexist, likely in ways I don’t even know. I am working to fix those biases as I encounter them. It is tough, though in this particular situation, I don’t see those biases, so I’m trying not to be inconsiderate. I think I am holding men, women, and non-binary people to the same standard in this case.

But you are directly holding women responsible for ENM relationships when they didn’t really do anything wrong. If a man did the same thing, would you have an issue with it? If you want a harem and tell everyone in the harem about it, what’s the problem?

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hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
You’re literally making excuses for women cheating on and gaslighting men. Bullshit you’d be behaving the same way of genders are reversed.

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- webadict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Sexual exclusivity is not a prerequisite for all relationships. ENM is a relationship based on the concept of sexual and emotional non-exclusivity. That’s the entire basis of ENM. If you disagree, please explain what keeps these men in the relationship that they can’t leave.
  
  Why do you blame women for these relationships? Men and non-binary people are also ENM, but you seem to think it’s exclusively women.
  
  You know you’re wrong because you haven’t bothered asking why those men don’t leave the relationship if they think it’s cheating? If they were cheating, then you would be telling them to leave. But you don’t. Why not? Would you tell a woman to leave a relationship if she were being cheated on?
  
  Seriously, why is it exclusively the woman’s fault and not the man’s? Is the woman holding something in the relationship hostage? Children? Money?
  
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  - 0x0@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    
    please explain what keeps these men in the relationship that they can’t leave.
    
    Have you ever been in a relationship? Any relationship? Doesn’t look like it.
    
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    webadict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    That doesn’t answer the question.
    
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