Comment on How the fuck do you meet new people?
nehal3m@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
So in the vein of no stupid questions I’m going to ask you a stupid question. It sounds like you didn’t particularly value the relationships you used to have with your “friends in law”. Do you actually want to meet people to build friendships with, or do you feel socially pressured to do so? I’m here to remind you that you’re not required. A preference for solitude is perfectly fine.
Maybe you don’t have that preference in which case others have written up some good advice, but don’t feel guilt. Maybe getting to know yourself for a while is a good thing. It’ll make any attempts at bonding with others in the future easier and more rewarding.
throwaways_are_for_cowards@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I appreciate this, thank you, and it’s not a stupid question. A few years ago, I would have probably expressed a preference for solitude, but since 2019 or so I’ve been struggling with some mental health issues and I have found that being alone leads to real danger for me. Not to say it’s bad for everyone, but I was unhealthy when I was alone all the time.
I’ve never had many friends, but I thought I had a few good ones. I think I overestimated my value to my friends, and undervalued keeping up with them outside of scheduled events and whatnot. That’s on me. I also think a lot of it is that they feel awkward. She’s been friends with most of them since they were children, I’ve known them for the last 20 years or so. It’s complicated. I think if I showed up destitute on their doorstep they’d take me in, but they’ve notably stopped talking to me or inviting me to events, likely because they know she’ll be there.