Speak for yourself. My JO crystal is so supercharged I can levitate up to 6 cm from the ground and yell louder than a police siren.

I have won several fights by blinding my opponent with the flash of the JO crystal as I crank my hog with one hand and swing my crystal with the other.

My seed has become so powerful, I’m banned from donating semen in 17 countries, including Papua New Guinea and the Pharoe Island.

I have channeled the unholy energies from my magnetic wristbands and wooden bracelets to erect a dark labyrinth to contain me so I won’t accidentally break reality apart when I crank my hawg too hard.

Do not underestimate the power of crystals.