I would consider a new dentist, and probably a sedation dentist if you have issues with numbing.

Depending on what you are having done, there is also laser dentistry. And my dentist has some special drill where he has done shallow cavities for me with no novacaine and I didn't feel shit except the usual drilling/pressure feeling.

This dentist just sounds shitty. Yes you were tensing up but you already told them a bunch of times you were in pain. They should have had a plan in place that y'all had agreed upon for dealing with a situation where the lidocaine wears off. Or maybe schedule you at a time where there are no other patients so they could go as fast as possible with no interruptions. Maybe I am expecting too much here but my dentist is the bomb and would easily do that for someone.